AWO C3 Course

I can't even remember when was the first official day of the AWO C3 course since the weeks have been whizzing past. I'm at the halfway mark now and the journey hasn't been an easy one. Most of the days seem to be the same, a brief in the morning followed by practice in the simulator and then another brief to end the day. The learning curve is pretty steep but I guess that's where the FUN lies, the CHALLENGE! :)

It's pretty much like uni/poly where there are so many different "modules" to cover and after a few  "modules" there's one consolidating practical exam. What I love about the practical exam is that YOU CANT MUG FOR IT! Books are a definite NO-NO for me. Glad that most of the time are spent in the simulator instead of hitting the books.

Picture from Cyberpioneer

Sad to say, there are still a lot of vital information that needs to be STUDIED and hence the theory exams. Speaking of which, the next theory exam is NEXT WEEK! To add icing to the cake, there's also a project presentation in the same week. I guess I'm going through the motion of things and hopefully it continues on this momentum. Most of the time I love the feeling of being so caught up in work cause time seem to pass faster. I love the sense of achievement when works get done PROPERLY with STANDARDS. Does this make me a workaholic? Or a high performer?

Still the same worry though, part of me is scared to OOC.  I'm scared of failing because I want to do well. Part of me is fighting to better myself everyday, just to see how far I can push myself. I'm somewhat a perfectionist and I demand high standards for myself. Then again, personal standards are subjective. For example completing 2.4km in 10mins may be considered a "high standard" to someone else but for me if  I manage to hit 12mins I'd be over the moon! Does it mean 10mins is a higher standard than 12mins? What are the criteria to determine so?

I believe strongly in healthy competition where everyone strives together and excel. Maybe it may seem a tad bit idealistic since it requires everyone to be altruistic but still, what's the point of reaching the top but you're stepping on others? What respect will you earn?

101/15 AFST: Air Wing - A Cut Above The Rest!

It's 0015 now and way past my lights out timing but I just have to put this post up. 7 weeks of Air Force Service Term literally just flew past and now I find myself starting pro-term today at Air Force Training Command, Paya Lebar. 6 months long of vocation specific training awaits me and I really can't wait for it to start! Yes no doubt I worry but I've learnt to just suck it up, move with the flow and somehow, time will pass like it always has and I'll end up at the next check point which is COMMISSIONING. Finally out of the green and into the BLUE!!!

Self imposed reveille at 0600 and setting out at 0630 to AFTC. Can't wait! :D

101/15 OCS: CLM - Train to Fight, Fight to Win!

Entered SAFTI MI grounds on 5th Oct, got posted to Hotel Wing and received my first white bar as Freshman Cadet. Things are much more different now, all the girls are split up and now I find myself the minority in my platoon. There were only 4 girls in Platoon 1 and most of the time we stuck together.

I thought CLM should be OKAY since there were only technically 2 high keys - Tower Run and Confidence Jump. But again I have some problem against all the damn physical elements. We had circuit exercises, route march 3km, endurance run 4km, etc. First of all, the route march was ONLY 3km, but people fail to realise that the girls were practically running all the way for the route march cause our short legs cant stride as far as the guys. They didn't allow the girls to be at the front to "control" the speed. So we had to not only keep up with the guys speed, but also close up the gaps that tend to form cause people dont keep tight. Positive note, guess it's good training to run with load?After reaching back wing line, I thought finally all this torture can stop. BUT NO, we had to HENTAK KAKI until everyone lifted their knees 90 degrees. It lasted for about 10mins.

Other types of "Tekan" that we kenna:
- Holding our full water bottle, arms 90 degrees for 6mins. My arms were burning.
- 150 push-ups everyday to train for ippt, we did it on super rough floor so the girls have abrasions on their knees since we do female push ups.
- whole wing form a circle and do push ups in a wave. Think of Kallang wave.
- alot of random knock it down, crunches change, which seemed endless..

Another annoying fact was that all the girls had to stay elsewhere cause there were no female bunks at Hotel. Army girls stayed at Sierra, Navy girls at Mids Wing and Air Force Girls at Air Wing. Navy and Airforce girls got it lucky cause our accommodations were in the same cluster as Hotel but the Army girls had to walk quite far just to go back to bunk. Imagine after our physical training, they give us about 15 mins to change to smart 4, the girls already take 5mins to go back to Sierra and another 5mins to come back to Hotel, left with 5 mins to change to smart 4.

STILL, I really miss Hotel, especially my platoon and the instructors. It's through all the shit that strong bonds are forged and memories made. And I also feel much stronger now physically! It was quite sad that we couldn't be initiated to junior cadets together. On the last day of CLM, we had to say our good byes and be separated to service term wings. Although it's been a short 2 weeks in Hotel and I was really looking forward to Air Wing, good byes were definitely hard to say. Didn't have much time to linger around cause we had to rush to practice the initiation ceremony in the evening. 4am on Saturday we got turned out by Delta Senior Cadets but most of the Air girls already woke up at 0330 to wash up and brush teeth, awaiting their "surprise." Did force prep, some push ups and stuff but it was okay. After that got initiated as Air Wing and got our 2 white bars signifying the transition from freshman to junior cadets. Met our loved ones at around 8am for OCS Family day.

Check In, Check Out. HOTEL!

BMT: POP LOH!

19 Sept: POP-ed and one step closer.

I guess time is on my side now to finally reflect and pen down some key things during my BMT experience. My thoughts are rather jumbled up so I'll do it in point form. They're random order:

• Don't as feel proud to POP cause I missed out the 24km route march. I didn't feel all the pain, tears and swearing everyone else went through. Bodies are hot they but they're shivering, palm-sized blisters on their feet, multiple abrasions, shoulder and hands numb, breathlessness, headaches, etc..
• Lucky to be in Section 3 cause they accepted me for the crazy and sometimes weird me.
• Thankful for my buddy, we worked well and helped each other when the time came.
• Lost 5 kg. I'm 48 kg now. A SAR 21 weights 3.82kg.
• Expected to perform better and not complain cause I'm a regular. Yes, I chose this path but it doesn't mean I can't express the pain. Can't I cry? Oh I forgot, I'm a soldier now and we're not to shed tears.
• Couldn't cock the SAR 21 (with 1 hand) in the early days. Happy that now I can!
• Got stuck at the top of Apex ladder and cried. I told myself, "One, Two, Three, MOVE!" Nope, my leg just wouldn't move. Frozen. Cramped. Ugh. 
• Cried for ALL my route marches. I really think my breaking point is lower than most people. 
• Bunk on level 5 is no joke.
• Covered the latrine shit-hole during field camp. Just imagine 5 days worth of human shit and army of flies. 
• Thankful there wasn't any rain during field camp. At least our uniforms were dry and not muddy. 
• A random fellow recruit from another formation/company asked me, "You got leopard crawl in field camp? Here and there?", "Got crawl until abrasion in BIC?" (shows me his elbow scab). I showed him mine. He shut up.

I admit, generally SOME guys will think we females have it easier, they will want to compare. Yes, some aspects are easier, like for SOC we don't do with SBO, our IPPT and SOC timings are more generous. However for most parts, everything is the same. Same time limit to dig the shell-scrape, same route march distance, same load, same leopard crawl, same discipline and regimentation. I can simply ignore such comments and let it pass and say well, I signed up for it should just suck it up, but no. After going through all the shit and pain, just cause you were not there to witness it and then make a fleeting comment that "females have it easier", it just irks me.

Those comments are just going to spur me on cause I'm gonna prove to people like you that gender doesn't make a difference. Everyone can do it. With God's grace I will just push on. 

5th Oct I'll enter the grounds of SAFTI to start my long OCS journey. I'm just going to take one small step at a time, with 2 weeks of CLM first. I heard there'll be runs every day. Not forgetting the big jump off a 5 meter platform.. Okay literally ONE STEP (off the platform) at at time. 

Egg-cited! :D

BMT: Post Field Camp

Days have literally been flying past and cant believe that 6D5N field camp is over. Seems just like yesterday that I enlisted and entered Tekong. I'm not sure how I'm getting through the days cause it sure as hell is physically demanding for me. As much as I push myself to always challenge the limit, I know fully well that my personal strength is not physical strength. Adapting to the regimentation and sucking thumb to loads of questionable SOPs are fine with me. The 2 weeks adjustment (confinement) period was okay, except for all the physical training parts.

Route march has been my biggest hurdle of all time. I keep trying not to think about the load and just walk, but somehow I just cant walk as fast as everyone else. I heard a yell, "OPEN UP YOUR STRIDES! KEEP UP. DONT GIVE ME THAT SHAG FACE.". I tried stretching my legs as far ahead as I could, the load just pulls me down and I can feel my knees giving way. I start panting and gasping for air, I get light-headed, my hands starts getting swollen due to lack of blood flow and I start remembering only fragments of the arduous torture. I had to stay back on a Saturday to re route march to complete my 8km and yet I'm still behind the rest of the company, them having completed 12km. I honestly would dig shell scrape again or do another field camp in exchange for ALL future route marches. I shudder at the thought of another route march.